What is this pattern

I don't recall where but I once read a description of time and how its molded. This explanation presented time as fabric and each string, each color, each intertwine was decisions in  your life. Ultimately ending up with a large piece of fabric with a pattern; a beautiful one, a messy one, a remember-able one. But the point being your piece of fabric, in the end, is all up to you.  But every decision affects the next and constantly shapes and changes the fabric as it grows.


The reason I was thinking about this is I always tell my self I should come here and write but of course I never do. I re-read old posts and enjoy the memory refresh, but I still never come write. Why? I can't answer that because I don't know.


But as I logged in today to write I was motivated by something sad and depressing, then I noticed my last few posts have also been about something sad. Why have I only visited this place to keep memories with past sad times. What is this a pattern about ? What if this is all I had to leave behind once I'm gone, why will there only be sad posts? How can I change my own fabric moving forward? How can I make the right decisions to bring happy, bright and vibrant colors to my blanket. And where can I find the motivation to write them down so I can remember them later.


Anyway... I hope to see this place more often.


Preferably on a brighter day. :)