Copy the memories

I mean to come here more. Write down more memories. Document my feelings so I can remember them tomorrow.


My son is 7 now... and I'm not quite sure how that happened. I mean... 7? really?
He's smart, he's handsome, he's clever and witty and he's absolutely amazing in every way. My life, my thoughts, my motivation all center him. Every day I try to mold him, help him make good decisions and teach him good ethics.


Not long ago he said to me "Dad... you want to know how I know Grandpa isn't gone?"
I replied with "how?" ... "Because he's always in my thoughts and memory, if I don't forget him then he's not gone"
I said to him "that's so awesome, Rivers, who taught you that?"
he said "You did, dad." :)


Being a Dad is not always easy, it doesn't always make sense, but trying my best to be the best at it is the most rewarding thing I've experienced.


I try to soak in every memory I can, appreciate the little things and never take my time with him for granted.


Two nights ago laying in bed we were arm wrestling, he was using all his weight and might to move my arm but couldn't at all. He said "I stand no chance!" as he was laughing and trying different angles to gain an advantage. I told him "Soon enough...", and its these moments I never want to forget and I hope he never forgets either. Stamps of memories, small but meaningful. It's these moments he looks up to me and I feel how important I am to him, I never want to lose that and I never want to abuse that. Because someday he will realize how much I look up to him and how important he is to me.


-Nayt

Optimistic

The biggest reason for writing here lately is just to look back, re-read my feelings and thoughts, and remember I'm learning and growing. I feel good today, i felt powerful and confident, and I felt nothing should stop me.

It's an odd time in my life, some days are crazy high and wonderful while others are like rock bottom. I don't like the roller coaster, I don't like my reactions when I'm rock bottom, but at least on those down days I know they won't last and I know the next day the feeling will most likely be gone. The bad part is it keeps coming back, but I feel I'm getting a really good handle on it and am excited for the future.

I want to remember this, I want to remember when times are bad that they will get better and that's what helps me sleep at night.


Nathan vs. the Lion Tamer. Right? ... Right!

Reach past

I think those moments when I realize I just need to relax, take few steps back, and enjoy life a little slower are the ones I need more of. Stop being such a sappy fool and just have fun with things, who knows where anything will end up, you can never force it, so just sit down and enjoy the ride.